Relationship Coaching for Couples
Two Approaches to Relationship Coaching
All coaching is by video or phone, wherever you are.
Sometimes the problem is a disagreement you can’t resolve. Sometimes something has changed between you and you don’t know how to make it better. These problems can lead to hurt and distance.
Problems like:
Major life decisions
Money
Physical and emotional intimacy
Infidelity
Parenting
Careers
For problems like these, Relationship Development Coaching offers an individualized approach to working on what is keeping the two of you stuck.
If your attempts to deal with what is happening lead to repeated fights in which nothing ever gets resolved, Conflict Pattern Reset may be particularly appropriate for you. Designed specifically to address recurring conflict, this structured six-week program aims to help couples move from conflict toward cooperation and collaboration.
Conflict Pattern Reset (CPR)
When attempts to deal with a problem keep turning into the same fight, frustration and resentment can build while the problem itself remains unresolved. Conflict Pattern Reset is a focused six-week program designed to help you recognize and interrupt the recurring pattern that keeps getting in the way.
Relationship Development Coaching (RDC)
When an important problem in your relationship remains unresolved, it can create tension and distance between the two of you. Relationship Development Coaching focuses on understanding what is keeping the two of you stuck and developing a different way of dealing with the problem together, tailored to your particular relationship and situation.
Explore Relationship Development Coaching →
Why Stephen Day?
For more than fifty years, I have had the privilege of being invited into the lives of wonderful people, often when they were struggling with painful and deeply personal concerns. What they have shared of themselves and their world has taught me things I could never have learned from my extensive professional training alone. I remain deeply grateful for what they have allowed me to understand, and for the trust that made it possible.
- Graduate training at Yale University and extensive professional training in psychotherapy
- 33 years practicing psychotherapy and 20 years working as a professionally trained and certified coach
- Professional work in medical settings with doctors and nurses, as well as cancer patients and their families
- Extensive experience working with executives and other business professionals, and with highly accomplished people in the creative arts
Long experience has made me less inclined, not more, to assume that I know what is happening before I have listened carefully. Every couple and every relationship is different. My task is to understand what is happening between the two of you and help you find where and how change may be possible.
What Clients Say
“Stephen’s skill and support has been a crucial component in the development of our relationship. He offers actionable tools to open lines of communication and understanding — not just for the moment, but as a guide for future growth.”
— E.A.T., Actor, Playwright, and Acting Coach. Married 15 years.“Making the decision to work with a life and relationship coach is one of the most important commitments I’ve ever made to myself. Stephen is a gifted and effective coach who has helped guide me to understand how I get in the way of my own life satisfaction.”
— A.L., Professional Education Development Consultant
Frequently Asked Questions
Is relationship Development coaching the same as couples therapy?
No. Although relationship Development coaching and couples therapy may sometimes address similar concerns, coaching is not mental health treatment. My work focuses on understanding the patterns that keep you stuck and developing practical ways to create meaningful and lasting change.
What is it like to work with you?
Our work is collaborative, individualized, and nonjudgmental. I begin by coming to know each of you—not only the difficulties you are facing, but something of who you are and the world in which you live.
It is important to me that both of you are able to express yourselves fully and that each perspective is understood. I think of couples work as involving three elements: you, your partner, and the relationship between you. And the relationship may not look or feel the same from each person’s point of view.
Relationship Coaching follows the direction of your particular needs and goals. Conflict Pattern Reset has a more defined structure, but it too is adapted to your progress and circumstances. In both, the work is thoughtful, practical, and responsive to the two people actually sitting in front of me—not to a predetermined formula.
What is it like to work with you?
Our work is collaborative, individualized, and nonjudgmental. I begin by coming to know each of you—not only the difficulties you are facing, but something of who you are and the world in which you live.
It is important to me that both of you are able to express yourselves fully and that each perspective is understood. I think of couples work as involving three elements: you, your partner, and the relationship between you. And the relationship may not look or feel the same from each person’s point of view.
How do we know whether Relationship Development Coaching or Conflict Pattern Reset is right for us?
The short answer is: you don’t have to. We can decide that together during our initial conversation. As a general rule, if recurring conflict has become a central problem—or is making it difficult to address other problems constructively—Conflict Pattern Reset may be the better place to begin.
What if our difficulties involve more than recurring conflict?
That’s not unusual. When recurring conflict is making other problems harder to address, Conflict Pattern Reset may be the best place to begin. Once the pattern has lost some of its power, couples are often better able to work together on the other difficulties in their relationship, either on their own or through Relationship Development Coaching.
I’m interested in Relationship Development Coaching, but my partner isn’t. Can I work with you individually?
Yes. Relationship Development Coaching can be useful even when only one partner participates. Conflict Pattern Reset, however, requires the participation of both partners.
Do we need to be in crisis to benefit from Relationship Development Coaching?
Not at all. Some couples come to Relationship Development Coaching because they are facing a particular difficulty or change. Others simply want more from their relationship and have found it difficult to create that change on their own. A relationship doesn’t have to be in crisis for coaching to be useful.
Do you accept insurance?
No. Relationship coaching is not psychotherapy or medical treatment and is generally not covered by health insurance. A payment plan is available for Relationship Development Coaching.
What happens when the Conflict Pattern Reset ends?
hat depends on what you need. Some couples have accomplished what they came to accomplish and continue on their own. Others return for an occasional refresher session or decide to continue with Relationship Development Coaching to address other issues in their relationship.
Ready to Begin the Conversation?
If you think I may be able to help, I invite you to take the next step.
